Jun 16

Too Many Lipsticks – The Opposite of Lent

Err… Last post was in October. That’s just a little bit of a long time ago, isn’t it? The sparknotes version of the past few months is as follows – health has improved, I’m working almost full-time, I completed my dissertation and am waiting on my results, and it’s been just over two years since Daniel and I started dating. Time sure does seem to go a lot faster than it used to for me, and I’ve spent a lot less time online because of it, although my Twitter account doesn’t really reflect that! I’m reasonably sure that I’ll talk more about the past few months in future posts as I can’t seem to keep things short and sweet to save my life, but this post is less of a ‘what have I been doing’ and more a ‘what I am going to do’

The catalyst for me to start blogging, in my slap-dash way, was giving up makeup for Lent, which can be read about/ skimmed through on the (now archived) Tumblr page Makeupless No More. ‘Makeupless No More’ started out as a way to force myself not to use makeup for the duration of Lent – I figured that somehow posting a mugshot each day would prevent me from breaking and putting on the slap, and it did, but it also had a far greater impact on my life than I ever imagined it would. Giving up makeup led to me meeting some wonderful new people thanks to the magic of the Internet, enabled me to finally find out what my mystery illness that had plagued me for nearly four years (!) by the start of the blog, and totally overhauled my makeup habits. A year and a month or two since I was ‘allowed’ to wear makeup again, I have not once worn the amount that I was wearing when I started the blog. I can count on one hand how much I have worn foundation, and I have used concealer exactly three times since last Easter. I would never have believed that this would happen, but it has and I am genuinely pleased that it has. Most days, all I wear is a little blush, and a slick of lipstick. I barely wear mascara, despite it being the only ‘real’ cosmetic that I allowed myself for the duration of Lent.

The lipstick, however, is an issue in and of itself.



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I love lipstick, and it’s the thing I missed most when I gave up makeup. Barely a day goes by where I don’t use a lipstick or gloss, and it’s even rarer to find me without a lipbalm or three on the go. I tidied up my makeup collection (smaller than it was a year ago and still shrinking, I am proud to say!) and was slightly ashamed to find I have around 75 lip products, not to mention duplicates. Out of all of those, I only wear something like ten on a regular basis, with the other just sitting gathering dust.

No more!



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From this coming Monday (the 18th of June) I am going to wear every. single. lipstick. I’ll wear each one once, and post at the end of each day with a brief review, the obligatory picture, and opinions from friends, family members, and colleagues My colleagues in particular seem particularly gleeful at the idea of giving their opinions on whether shades suit me or not – something that could be a double-edged sword, I think! Until I have worn every lip product I own once, I am not going to buy another lipstick, nor am I going to re-wear any lipstick I have worn before. I’ll post a master list of all of the lip products, and update it each day with which products have been worn, and most importantly of all I will mark each one as ‘KEEP’ or ‘BIN’ to thin out my collection. As my lips are fussy things that seem to react to a lot of things, Sundays each week are going to be ‘rest’ days where I’ll do nothing but apply liberal amounts of Lush lipbalms and Lanolips in the hope of staving off the worst reactions. I’ll be posting on Twitter as Sealkitten throughout, and will be more than happy to have feedback either from people on there or in the comments on posts here – I’m indecisive at the best of times, so I dread to think what I’ll be like when it comes to getting rid of things during this!

Tomorrow I’ll post the master list I’ll be working through, and a cleaned-up version of the rules, and then on Monday things will really start. Hopefully, it won’t be too boring and I’ll be able to stick this one out like I did with giving up makeup – wish me luck, one more time.

Oct 12

What happened to posting every day? (aka Loaf is a lazy creature)

Well, it’s been a long time since I posted on here, hasn’t it? I enjoy blogging on here, really I do, but recently my life has exploded a little. It seems that everytime my life gets busy, something has to give – I’m rather grateful, if a little irritated that the thing giving this time is updating this blog, rather than eating or going outside or seeing friends.

I’m having to be a bit more careful than I previously have to keep a balance between everything in my life now, putting more thought into what I really can and cannot do, rather than the things I hope and want to do. A few weeks ago now, I had the long-awaited appointment at the Dorset ME/CFS clinic. Despite a telephone consultation that lasted a tood three-quarters of an hour (I sobbed my way through at realising that the things I thought were normal were recognised symptoms, and that they didn’t mean I was going mad) I was sure that when I saw the doctor at the clinic that he would tell me I was fine, refer me back to my GP as a timewaster. He didn’t.

Instead, after a brief discussion with much hand waving, and a little bit of prodding, he diagnosed me with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia.

Even over a month and a session with the clinic’s Occupational Therapist later, I can’t quite properly process this diagnosis. After goodness knows how long (and the doctor in question suspects that it wasn’t the glandular fever that triggered things, but the viral labyrinthitis I had at 16), I can finally give people a reason for missing important things altogether, for sleeping through appointments, for spacing out and forgetting basis information. I can give my boss a real reason when I have to miss work, give HR a doctors letter so I won’t face a disciplinary if i have to take off more time than is ‘allowed’. I can talk to my doctor about a recognised condition rather than a mixed bag of symptoms, walk into her office without feeling like a hypochondriac. It’s actually a little scary.

At the recommendation of the doctor at the clinic, I’m now taking a small dose of Dosulepin each night to help me sleep and to relax my muscles a little. I did initially take Amitrypteline, but a rather unpleasant allergic reaction put paid to that (it goes onto the lengthly list of ‘things Sarah cannot take, ever again’, joining such luminaries as anything that is penicillin, derived from penicillin, or acts like penicillin). I’m also waiting on a call from the clinic to start a series of group sessions with other recently diagnosed people in the area, as the OT thinks I would benefit more from these group sessions over one on one sessions. It’s a bit of a waiting game right now, as there need to be enough people to join the group to make it viable, but I’ve been told it shouldn’t be too long.

On to more cheerful things, I think. That mark that was missing from my records at uni? After a little hassle, and an awful lot of help from two wonderful people in the uni’s admin and student support respectively, the original mark was found and added. I’ve also received the date from the uni for my dissertation to be handed in, on the 20th of January. With luck (and of course a lot of hard work) I aim to smash this target. I want to graduate, to be able to tell people ‘I did this, despite my body and everything else, and I am proud to have done it’. I want to be able to stand up at graduation next July and be proud of all I have achieved, of not having given up. Looking over all my other marks so far, I’m headed for a 2:1 as long as my dissertation is up to scratch. I can do it.

Things are going well with Djones, of course (as I write this, I am travelling back home on the train from a few days at his place) and I couldn’t be happier. He’s been amazingly supportive through all this, and I really couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend – I know, I know, I’ll stop being sappy now.

Work is fun! I feel much more settled now in the department, and feel like I am a real use now I know how to dispense glasses properly. No more endless paperwork without real customer interaction! My colleagues are great, and make it a lovely atmosphere to work in.

Having bored you all to tears, and hopefully reminded most of you I’m still alive, I’ll end this monster of a post. If you feel like hearing more of my blather on a regular basis, but in shorter form, you can find me on twitter as Sealkitten

Oct 5

My little Collective : Assimilation is Magic, Chapter One.

The sun still rises in Equestria. Every day, without fail. Up with the dawn and down with the dusk. Every day. Even though Celestia is dead. Every day.

Just another one of those lies she fed to me, considered Twilight, resting down on her haunches from one of the dugouts west of Ponyville. Just another one of those lies, like most of her lessons. Friendship is magic? Fuck that. Magic is fucking magic and it’s the only reason the Borg haven’t completely destroyed the Pony Resistance in the last few months. That and Luna.

Twilight ducked down beneath the collection of leaves and grass camouflage she was conjuring around her position as a squadron of Borgasi swept past above. Twilight tallied it up, assuming them to be separate patrols. That’s 15 assimilated pegasi sweeping the area every hour, evenly spaced out. Less than 20 minutes to get in, rescue Rarity and get out. She wished Celestia was here with her, now. She wished upon a star and everything magical between pixie dust and love. But that was a hopeless wish, a meaningless one. Pointless, redundant. Just like everything she’d ever been taught.

When the message was broadcast,  that great ponderous message. “We are the Borg. You will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.” Twlight had been with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Operation Weasel rescue was in motion after the old dam broke up stream, flooding the lower fields of Ponyville. All the other little critters had made it out except for a couple families of weasels. That message crashed through Equestria like Luna, or maybe Pinkie Pie hopped up on magical weeds and insomnia, there was chaos, confusion, panic. And then there was Celestia. Great Celestia rising up into the clouds to meet the ships. She tried reason. She tried appealing to the nature of love and kindness and the power of friendship. She fell first, without warning, she just…fell. They all saw it, everypony as if they were there, beside her. They saw her fall and they felt her cries of anguish as the green beam cut straight through her. As she fell, so did Equestria, so did almost every pony be they earth, unicorn or pegasi. The destruction was immediate and brutal. Ponyville was burning within seconds, the horrendous whinnies of terror still haunt any survivors dreams. They haunt Twilight most of all.

Sliding out beneath the illusionary foliage Twilight trotted quietly and quickly to the border of what was left of Ponyville. The herds of Borg had long since abandoned this region of Equestria which was why Luna thought it would be safe to reclaim Twilights library now. Luna isn’t very good at remembering not everypony is as mad or skilled as her when it comes to infiltration raids and so here she was, on this mad stupid magicforsaken mission to rescue Rarity.

Twilight hated this whole situation. She hated how much faith the six had in Luna, hated how much faith Luna had in the six and most of all, hated being sidelined for a mission and then having to clean up the mess afterwards. Another quick illusion later she cantered up to the library door, Borg augmentations evident across her muzzle and flank. The sentry ponies didn’t even seem to notice her. They considered her harmless. Not even a threat. That suited Twilight just fine. The canter was a particularly nice touch, she thought to herself. No self respecting pony would ever move in that way yet the assimilated ponies seemed to always go from place to place like it. They say the Borg pursue perfection but Twilight really couldn’t see how anything about the strange movement was better than a simple trot.

Another fifteen minutes before the Wonderbolt patrol hit Ponyville. The wonderbolts were one of the first ponies to be assimilated into the collective. They were with Celestia when she…when it happened and a lot of them were taken into the great grey ships. When they came back they were no longer the wonderbolts, but they were just as fast. Twilight had to be faster. In through the door, Three borgnies on the bottom floor, Two up top, the two sentries outside. Each one held the same cutie mark. The Borg only had one cutie mark, shared amongst all. Twilight shuddered at the thought of losing hers, hidden beneath the weave of illusions over herself. She hated this part of the war the most. The idea of dying wasn’t so bad, but to lose your cutie mark?

A flick of her tail and a ruffle of her mane and all five inside went down, the Borg cybernetics shorting out. Rarity was unconscious at the far wall, but a quick hooveslap brought her round.

“Wh-wh-where am I? Twil…twilight it’s you! What is going on I have to say this is…”.

“Shut up and move Rarity. No time for twenty questions and pointless outrage. We’ve got less than fifteen minutes and the evac is over five miles away.”

Twilight ignored Rarity’s bluster as she looked out towards the door, “And in much less time than that, they will of adapted to my spell. Did you get it?”

Rarity scrabbled to her hooves, swearing quietly at the state of her attire and the fact her mane was utterly a mess, “Yes, yes.”, snapping up a book with her magic, “This has to be it. It was the only book on memory rituals and how to restore personalities”.

Twilight nodded and turned to the door, “Can you gallop? Theres two sentries out there we need to outpace.”

“I might not be Rainbow dearest Twilight but you know full well the training I’ve put in these past few months. Let’s go, maybe with this we can save Equestria.” Rarity leapt out the door and sprinted towards the forest, the two sentries suddenly alarmed and chasing after her. Twilight shook her head a little and sighed, knowing full well that nothing in the book was truly useful, wondering what Luna’s purpose was in even sending Rarity on this mission, following hastily. Hooves bit into dust and mud as the ponies fled. The sentries, bulked down with metal components and hideous machines couldn’t keep up with the two unicorns once they reached Applejack’s farms.

It took the two ponies two days and much bickering to arrive at headquarters. There was tension in the tunnels, deep tension. The ponies allies were fragmented and failing. The moles had done their duty and now expected Luna to save them, as she promised. She was failing and there was fury and anger in the air. Understandable, Twilight thought, but pointless. They’ll kill us all soon enough, no point fighting amongst ourselves.

The two unicorns, two parts of the great secret Celestia hid walked into the great chamber as Luna was finishing one of her speeches. The book saddled in one of Twilights bags resting against her flank. The pointless useless book that so much had been risked for. What was Luna playing at?

The crowd were loud, raucous even. Hooves stamped and whinnies could be heard from all corners. Luna was pacing up and down the stage, shouting loudly, flanked by two of the largest soldiers of the resistance, general Applejack standing off to one side.

“My fellow ponies. Our allies. Rejoice. Our salvation is at hand. Look now upon Celestia’s disciplines returned anew from the field. See them, our great warriors. Come come, Rarity, to me. Twilight. Fillies and Studs alike, hear me now. We have fought. We have paid a price in friendship and blood to get this far. To survive this horrendous onslaught by the forces of the Borg. Know this now. We will remain alive. We will remain free. These two ponies have returned with a great treasure, a great secret. The power to reverse the taking is in their hooves. In their possession is a book, a very special book. It tells of a way to defeat the Borg. It gives us the power and strength to fight so I ask you, one last time, be brave. Be strong, fight with me, ponies of Equestria. For freedom. For my sister Celestia. For our most dear departed friends. And know this. within those pages contains a spell, a hidden one. A power so great it was locked away forever. Magic that reveals the cutie marks of every pony in Equestria. With this we can free our enslaved kin. Break the shackles of assimilation and return to them their identities, their souls. Soon. We win this war.”

Twilight stared at Luna, at the pony who looked so much like her sister. Who in this time of triumph kept them alive. She stared, and she swore quietly to herself, head drooping in despair. What Luna proposed was madness. It would free the other ponies, if true…yes. But they’d be stranded up in those ships, with no way out, no escape…they’d die to the enemies other soldiers. Nonponies taken elsewhere, on other planets.

Luna was condemning all her lost friends to death.

Aug 24

I am the mish mash.

Walking to dnd, listening to Marina and the diamonds, wearing my indy clothes, eating Tesco chocolate and mns cake, blogginating on my smart phone whilst reading a leather bound Hegel. I am the mish mash

Aug 15

Djones’ guide to waiting for your girlfriend at her work.

1: Look awesome. Check.

2: Eat something tasty whilst she’s hard at work.

3: Be either overly friendly or completely aloof to her colleagues.

4: Blog whilst bored instead of pretending to be entertained.

5: Now this is the important one, don’t tell your girlfriend you’re Blogging instead of being entertained, this gets a grumpy face and an exasperated sigh.

6: Don’t ask girlfriend how you spell exasperated…

Aug 15

Djones’ guide to trains.

1: have short legs. The shorter the better, whilst blood loss could become a problem practise travelling with tournaquets or an extortionist. Contortionists also help but are less effective.

2: Carry bribe money to secure a seat of your choosing.

3: Child tranquilisers are, of course a given.

4: Do not, under any circumstance make eye contact with the ticket attendant. I don’t quite know why but nobody does so I can only assume bad things happen.

5: Read the safety information, on the very unlikely chance there is a crash by knowing escape routes you can pretend to be Bruce Willis from unbreakable or thingee from source code. General badassery is sure to follow.

6: Most importantly, don’t miss your stop because you’re too busy Blogging. Fuck.

Aug 15

Summer Loliday

We’re all going on a summer loliday.

No more trolling for a week or two.

Fun and Laughter on our summer loliday.

No more ganking for me and you!

 

That’s right peoples of the internet. I am off. OFF OFF AND AWAY! Well, kind of. Regular viewing schedule for this morning, then down to Loaf’s, then back to Reading, then up to Derby, Longleat, Alton towers, Newcastle, back to Reading. I’m like a bouncing travelling yoyo man, his continuing mission to explore strange new trolling methods, to seek out new life(welll it is newcastle) and new civilisations(again : Newcastle).

And stuff. I’m looking forward to it. It means a raiding break in WoW. This is good news. I have the burn out there. It means my brand new sexytastic PC will be…ignored by me and filled with sims games by my housemate. Awesome. It means I get to spend an inordinate amount of time feeling travel sick in the back of a car with a DS in my hand and earphones in my head. Fantastic.

Who’s ready for a summer loliday?

 

OH! And I might stop off at Kettering, great Kettering. Home town, location of my birth. Great jewel upon the east Midlands. Once upon a time it was home, home to horror and thrill seeking. Mostly it would be to scare my online Dark Heresy GM in the face with Zicon and I’s sudden yet inevitable betrayaHHHHHH^H presence. So, if any of you reading this actually remember me, and live in Kettering, send me an email at Djones0823@gmail.com and I will see what I can do.